


Life of  a Hobbit

by deadblackhearts



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Eventual Porn, It's Always Gandalf's Fault, M/M, Mpreg, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-17 11:47:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5868121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadblackhearts/pseuds/deadblackhearts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo Baggins was having a rather strange if somewhat annoying afternoon and the peculiar wizard didn't help any. However as the time for supper passed and his guests started stumbling in, he rather thought his day improving.<br/>One imposing dwarf after another, muscle upon muscle and all those weapons... Why, Bilbo was ready to faint and his weakness had nothing to do with fear but rather all his blood uncomfortably migrating to his lower regions.<br/>Sure, there was talk about a dragon and his guests wouldn't recognize manners if they smacked them across the face, but if Bilbo had had any idea how imposing and welcome, yes, they were very welcome, the dwarves were, why he would have signed up for an adventure a long time ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing but my dirty mind.  
> This is just another idea that wouldn't leave my head. This one will have some plot but honestly, I'm writing it for the porn. It probably won't follow the book or the movies much, or it will but it will be a completely different take on it. And I reserve the right to change anything I don't like. That means no deaths and no ring.  
> Updates... well, I guess when I'm in the mood Bilbo will be too. Please don't comment on my lack of sexual life when the updates aren't all that regular, thank you.  
> I'll add the tags as certain activities happen. All the mistakes are mine and will probably stay there since I don't have a beta. Hope you like it.

Bilbo thought it another beautiful day as he walked home from the market. He'd bought himself dinner and everything else he needed to hold him until tomorrow and he hummed all the way to Bag End with a skip in his step.

He'd eaten his lunch before going to the market and all he needed to do now was take a bath and relax before the afternoon tea. Yes, it was a rather good plan if he did say so himself.

Still humming, Bilbo unpacked his goods quickly and rushed to prepare his bath. While the water warmed, he undressed and wrapped his robe around himself, just in case. While he didn't mind other hobbits, children tended to peek through his windows in play and Bilbo didn't want to burden any parent with _that_ explanation before the parent thought it time.

With the water ready, Bilbo poured it into the tub, dropped his robe right there on the floor and slid down into the warmth. It was absolutely heavenly. So Bilbo sang softly to himself and wiggled his toes until the water was slowly starting to cool at which point he picked up the soap and scrubbed himself clean.

Drying himself quickly and just rubbing vigorously through his hair with a towel in his rush, Bilbo hurried to his bedroom. He lit a candle, because everything was better under candle light, once more slipped out of his robe then crawled on his bed and under his sheet. Just a sheet mind you, it was the middle of the afternoon and he wasn’t intending on sleeping.

Running his hands down his chest, avoiding his nipples and feeling gently over his belly, Bilbo was in the mood soon enough, just the anticipation had him going. He wrapped his hand around his cock and gave it a nice slow pull. Bilbo moaned.

With his other hand he felt for the pot of lubricant he made himself and stuck his fingers inside until he had enough to smooth out the ride. He switched hands and sighed as the slippery slide had his cock stiffening further. And then someone knocked.

Bilbo stiffened. That just couldn’t be. No one knocked at this hour in the Shire. It was a well-known fact that no visitors were welcome before the afternoon tea. He must have imagined it. Bilbo shrugged, closed his eyes and pulled at his cock once more.

A knock sounded again.

Bilbo’s jaw slackened in disbelief. Someone was actually knocking before the afternoon tea.

Out of sorts, with his hand slippery and him frankly naked as the day he was born, Bilbo was at a bit of a loss as what to do. But then he wiped his hand on his sheet – it was going into the wash anyway as soon as he was done – pulled on his robe and tied it really tight and if the outline of his cock could still be seen through the thick cloth, well, there was nothing he could do about it and his visitor will just have to suffer for it.

Bilbo’s mood slowly darkened with each step he took toward his front door and by the time he pulled them open and came face to face with a wizard of all things, Bilbo’s mind blanked and he stood there like a fool before uttering the first thing that came to mind, “Good day.”

However, the unfortunate visit didn’t end there. The wizard proceeded to go on about wishes and days and whether they were good or whatnot. Frankly, Bilbo wasn’t listening. All he knew what that he had a blasted visitor before the afternoon tea, his cock was slowly wilting like a flower and a wizard was wasting his bloody time.

Then, slowly running out of little patience he’d had to begin with, Bilbo somewhat rudely asked, “Can I help you?”

“That remains to be seen.” The wizard said gravely and a chill went down Bilbo’s spine. Or it might have been the draft. His butt was somewhat exposed after all.

Bilbo missed half the things the wizard said next but wasn’t stupid enough to say yes to whatever question was asked. Instead Bilbo said, “I’m quite sorry, but whatever you’re selling I’m not interested. Perhaps if you come in time for the afternoon tea or even dinner. Yes, dinner would be quite a good time and then we could chat.”

Then the wizard mentioned Bilbo’s late mother and his cock just plopped in the most unfortunate way. But of course, the wizard couldn’t just leave it at that. He finally introduced himself, not that it sparked any recognition in Bilbo and he also decided something that would apparently be good for Bilbo, not that Bilbo had any idea what that could be, he also mentioned informing the others and just like that he was off.

Completely bewildered, Bilbo closed the door, stared into space for a bit, then glanced at his no longer interested cock and sighed. It looks like it wasn’t such a good day after all.

Somewhat dejected, Bilbo went to his room and cleaned up, blowing out the candle with regret before dressing again and heading to the kitchen.

He wasn’t quite in the mood for tea either as it turned out, the wizard managing to disrupt his whole day, and then Bilbo remembered him mentioning the others and clapped his hands in sudden excitement. Others meant guests and they were probably coming for dinner. 

But what did others mean? It was more than three surely not including the wizard. But Bilbo thought the wizard was somewhat suspicious in any case. He probably meant more. Hm… Bilbo thought. His pantries were full, but it wouldn’t hurt to order some more food and three more or a dozen, it was time to start cooking. Yes, Bilbo nodded to himself. It was only proper to greet your guests hospitably.

So Bilbo stopped one of the lads down the road, gave him a couple of scones and a list of goods he was in need off noting that the order should be rushed and went back to Bag End and got on with the cooking.  
By the time dinner arrived, Bilbo had filled his table with food and had even more prepared in his kitchen and desserts in the pantry. But dinner came and passed and Bilbo nibbled only a little. Then supper came and passed and there was still not a sign of a visitor. Perhaps the wizard had meant another day. Well, Bilbo was sorry to see all that food go to waste, but he would worry about that tomorrow. He ate a little, then, leaving everything as it was, he headed to his bedroom.

He made quick work of getting undressed, and since it was night time he crawled under his covers with handkerchiefs at ready and another candle flickering merrily.

That night he didn’t waste any time. He slicked up his hand, now even more excited since he’d missed his afternoon wank, and got down to business. Bilbo moaned wantonly as he touched his cock, the feeling just about divine. He quickened his pace, already terribly close when the doorbell rang. The DOOR BELL.

It was as if someone had cut out music in the middle of a dance and this time Bilbo knew whoever it was they wouldn’t just leave him alone. At worst case it was that damn wizard and he was a persistent fellow, at best it were his guests and it would be terribly rude to ignore them. 

So Bilbo wiped himself for the second time that day, tied his robe again and marched to the door. Honestly, this time he didn’t even care that he was naked or that his cock was chubbily waving in front of him, but under his robe, of course. He was young, virile and had been interrupted twice. In the end, those were all normal activities and he had nothing to be ashamed of.

With that thought in mind, Bilbo pulled open the door and was face to face with a dwarf. And what a dwarf he was. Bilbo just about swooned. A whimper slipped by him and Bilbo leaned heavily on the door. Then the dwarf bowed in the most adorable way and said, “Dwalin, at your service.”

Bilbo instantly wondered what kind of service did he mean, because Bilbo was all for a bit of service after the day he’d had. And Dwalin was more than Bilbo could have hoped for. Sure he was missing a bit of hair, but the lot he had and the beard… Bilbo could have happily worked with that. But it was the size that really did it for him. All broad shoulders and imposing figure, the deep voice, oh and the tattoos. He had a bit of thing for tattoos, you see. Well more than a bit, but not everyone needed to know that.

Bilbo somehow managed to utter his name before Dwalin marched right in, not that Bilbo would have stopped him, and once he took off his cloak, the view was even better if possible. Bilbo really didn’t think it possible.

Bilbo could just imagine those large hands on him and he would have bet his supper that Dwalin could have lifted him right up and taken him against the door. Oh, there was a lovely thought.

Then Dwalin mentioned supper and Bilbo led him right through to the kitchen and his dining room, where he quite enjoyed Dwalin standing speechless in all his dwarf glory. Yes, unfortunately, he might have already been a little smitten. It was going to be a long night.


	2. Chapter 2

Quite frankly, Bilbo considered getting dressed, but Dwalin was just so lovely as he devoured food with that funny scowl on his face. He kept looking over everything, completely indecisive on what to pick first and Bilbo was rather proud of himself for making everything so tasty. It’s been way too long since the last time he’d had guests. He hoped they would be willing to stay the night to show him some of those services they offered. Yes’ he was quite looking forward to it.

Then Dwalin looked at him expectantly – and he had a very masculine scar across his nose and part of his brow; Bilbo would lick that scar as soon as he got the chance – eventually saying, “That’ll be the door.”

Oh, goodness, Bilbo was so entranced he completely missed the doorbell. He wondered if the next dwarf will be just as mouthwatering. He only hoped it wasn’t that wizard whatever his name was. Bilbo was adventurous when it came to the bedroom, but Tall folk just did nothing for him.

Bilbo opened the door and found another dwarf, this one just a bit rounder but also reminding Bilbo of his fellow hobbits. It was quite endearing, really, and while Bilbo thought him a bit old, he wouldn’t quite be opposed to giving a go to the experience the dwarf surely had. Yes, he would do quite nicely as well.

Balin had a lovely beard on him, and Bilbo barely restrained himself from touching, barely indeed.

“Am I late?” He asked, then spotted Dwalin robbing Bilbo of his cookies which was rather strange considering all the food he had been offered.

When they bumped heads Bilbo grasped at his chest. Such strength, he thought. Why, he would have been down on the ground after something like that and he wasn’t sure he would have been getting up any time soon.

Now Bilbo would have been happy just sitting there watching them enjoy the food, but when the bell rang again he hurried to the door, looking forward to the new morsel just waiting for him to bite in.

Oh, Aulë. All the blessings and gifts may fall upon you. Bilbo thought as the golden one spoke, “Fili”. That smile was as good as a weapon and when Kili joined him and there was another ‘at your service’, all Bilbo could really say to that was “Yes, please.”

Really, Kili’s smile was just as lovely, and they were young, too. He wanted to pull them to the bedroom right away, however, there was propriety and all that. They were probably hungry, and anyway, sex was always better on a full stomach. Or so he kept telling himself.

Then Fili went to hand him his weapons and Bilbo had a better idea, “Just a minute, you sweet thing, why don’t you put these there in the box and Kili can hang your coats. These are just too heavy for me you see.”

Fili smiled at him. Oh, just lovely. He really couldn’t stop saying that. So Fili turned and each time he put down a weapon he bent down in the best of ways, showing all those wonderful assets, and as Kili swung off his coat Bilbo really didn’t know where to look first.

Bilbo was just about to ask them to take off their shoes, because he vaguely remembered how everyone except hobbits had really small feet. He would have loved to spend a couple of hours exploring that, he would. But then Dwalin pulled the lads away and Bilbo was hard pressed not to frown.

Still, it seemed like they haven’t seen each other in quite some time and Bilbo couldn’t begrudge them that. Besides, there went the doorbell again.

This time a whole lot of them fell through and for a moment Bilbo was quite sad he wasn’t at the bottom of that pile. He could have felt up all that muscle and still called it socially acceptable, because honestly, who would have known it was him copping a feel.

Then he saw the wizard and Bilbo’s mood soured. He just knew he wouldn’t be getting any as long as that wizard was in the smial. There was just something suspicious about him and as if that wasn’t proof enough, he was already distracting him from all the lovely dwarves sprawled on the floor.

Bilbo moved out of the way and simply watched them for the rest of the night. His chin in his hand and stars in his eyes, he couldn’t make up his mind on where to watch first because all the new additions were simply fascinating. The belly of that round one or the infectious grin of the one with the hat, oh he could imagine those lips around his cock, or the proper manners of the one with the sweet smile and tight braids. He would have loved to unbraid those as he whispered all the proper little things in his ear. He just loved the beard of the one with an axe in his head. Bilbo was sure he could have worked around that and even the language barrier; he truly wouldn’t need any talking in bed. And the best part was Gandalf, the blasted wizard, who kept getting up, for wine, tomatoes and what not, only to bump his head on the chandelier, slam his shoulder on the door frame or trip over a box. The best entertainment he’d had since the last time he’d chased away Lobelia.

Their manners were appalling, well the one with the tight braids was alright, but the rest of them could have used a lot of work. But Bilbo honestly didn’t mind. He just kept thinking about all the ways he could undress them before pushing them in a bath… Oh, a bath. He better put some water on the fire to warm up. 

So Bilbo busied himself with getting baths ready and plumping pillows in the many rooms he had. He couldn’t very well expect all of them to share one bed. Perhaps one or two could come with him, but there were still enough rooms to settle them all individually. He liked things to be proper, he did.

So he went from one room to the next, glancing toward the dwarves every once in a while and as they started throwing dishes he was quite impressed by the skill alone. Then his eyes glazed over and Bilbo wondered if they would pass him around like that after each one of them was done. Heat pooled at his groin and he realized he was still only wearing his robe. The thought was deliciously dirty. Then the singing started and Bilbo couldn’t help it but drop everything and watch. The words were quite clever although he hadn’t the faintest what gave them the idea he hated anything. Except the wizard, he really didn’t like him.

Then someone banged on the door. Maybe it was another dwarf. Bilbo certainly hoped it wasn’t another wizard, he didn’t think he could handle another one of those.

Gandalf chose to throw all sense of propriety out the window and opened the door in Bilbo’s smial like Bilbo was incompetent and just as he was about to say a word or two about it, a gorgeous specimen of the dwarven race walked through the door. And he was rather beautiful. No sense of direction obviously but who really cared about that.

Wait, the wizard had scratched the door? Thirteen strong and rather wild dwarves in his smial and it’s the wizard who does damage. Naturally.

“So this is the hobbit.” The dwarf said, then he circled around him and all Bilbo heard was “Weapon of choice?” because who could blame him, the piercing gaze, just inviting hair in the lack of a better word because Bilbo was dying to bury his fingers in it and the bleeding voice… Dear Yavanna, Bilbo was ready to slip his robe and offer himself right there.

Weapon of choice, weapon of choice, “Whatever you’re willing to teach me. I’m a very good listener.” Bilbo said somewhat breathlessly. He didn’t mean real weapons, right? Well, no matter, real or not, if Thorin was going to teach him Bilbo was all for it. If Dwalin wanted to join all the better.

Thorin didn’t seem to quite know what to say to that, so Bilbo moved slightly forward, caressing the fur on his coat, “So what will it be, sword wielding, proper stabbing or would you prefer hand to hand?” and said with as much innuendo as he could manage. There were other dwarves around, after all, and it wouldn’t be proper to pick one right of the bat without giving the others a chance.

The dwarf seemed to frown suddenly. “I’m not here for your amusement.” Then turned and went toward the bedrooms. Gandalf marched right after him. It would be a feat to get lost in his smial, but Bilbo would have said the same about Hobbiton.

“Did I say something wrong?” He asked the others.

“No, lad. He’s just tired and generally grumpy. Don’t take his words to heart.” Balin put his arm around Bilbo and Bilbo happily leaned into him. Perhaps the night could still be salvageable despite him managing to offend the pretty dwarf.

Bilbo allowed himself to be led back to the kitchen only to find all the dishes cleaned for which he thanked the dwarves profusely and then asked, “Would you care for some dessert?”

They all looked at him as if he’d went bonkers, but Bilbo paid it no mind. He took the hand of the by far the sweetest, shyest dwarf and led him to the sweets pantry. There he loaded a tray with cakes and pushed the wide-eyed dwarf out the door. On his he put various baskets of cookies, scones, muffins and fruit and carried it all back to the kitchen. They might have missed proper dinner and supper, but there was still time to honor the midnight snack.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't going the way I planned and there hasn't been any sex yet, but hopefully I'll fix that soon.  
> I'm now following the movie. It seemed easier and def. gives me more of a visual;)  
> Oh, just mentions of mpreg here, but I'll add it to the tags because Bilbo will end up pregnant eventually. It only seemed right to make both male and female equal considering how much sex the hobbits need.

By the time Thorin ate his dinner, most of the other dwarves were slumped in their chairs, holding their bellies and in general looking rather spent. That wasn’t good news at all. It was a bit late, but Bilbo had missed three wank sessions by now and he was hoping for at least some action before bed.

Then Balin started asking questions and the pleasant mood of the night went downhill from there. Apparently the rest of their race abandoned them in their time of need and this whole adventure depended on the thirteen strong dwarves resting in his kitchen. Well, the wizard was included too but Bilbo still wasn’t willing to count him. Scratch his door, would he?

So Bilbo asked for details about their adventure and Gandalf spread out a map and the pretty mouth one, you know, the one with the hat, started talking about a dragon. Suspicious that.

Then the golden one, Fili, – Bilbo couldn’t help it if his heart fluttered at that sight – gave an inspiring speech that made Bilbo want to kiss him. Only Kili ruined it by going on and on about the wizard and his prowess. Bilbo snorted. If that wizard had killed one dragon in his lifetime, Bilbo would cook for him for the rest of his. But he didn’t say that out loud of course. Who was he to disillusion the young? Besides, Kili looked quite dashing as he puffed up his chest and talked about their might.

Of course, the others started yelling for whatever reason before anyone could notice the wizard sputtering about his lack of kills. Bilbo could just recognize that kind of suspicion. He nodded to himself, quite pleased. He knew the wizard was all talk.

Then Thorin, and if there ever was a dwarf in more need of sexual release Biblo would eat his pipe, took the gloom into doom, his imposing figure and just beautiful voice giving the whole thing more magic than Bilbo had ever seen from the wizard. However he surprised Bilbo by turning the speech into another quite inspiring one that had the whole company cheering and Bilbo wondered if he was in any way related to Fili. But that was a thought for another time and he wasn’t sure his poor mind could take it, not with his too long of abstinence by now.

Bilbo missed a bit of conversation there because he was starting to feel sorry for himself, but then a key appeared. A key to a hidden door of a mountain that has been possessed by a dragon for years. And can you guess who had that magic key? Of course it was the meddling wizard. And not only that, Gandalf proceeded to point out his weakness. No wizard ever did that, not that Bilbo knew any other wizards but it was the principle of the thing. He knew Gandalf – he had his doubts about that too – and that was plenty for him to wonder. The wizard had a plan for the dwarves and the dwarves weren’t going to like it.

The shy one suddenly shouted, “We need a burglar.” And everything was about Bilbo all of a sudden.

He supposed he could be a burglar. He’d sneaked out of enough windows as a lad without getting caught, burglaring couldn’t be all that different. But before he could say anything, Balin offended him, “I have to agree, he’s hardly burglar material.”  
And Dwalin backed him up, “The wild is not a place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves.”

Bilbo was quite angry by that point but the wizard stood up all of a sudden and did some of his magic – Bilbo was hard pressed not to roll his eyes at the parlor trick – then praised Bilbo to high heaven. Bilbo was rather confused by that. It didn’t fit into the image he had about the wizard. Why would he defend him? Bilbo thought on it for a while. Of course, the wizard was meddling again and as soon as Bilbo realized that, the world seemed to settle around him once more.

Before you know it, Bilbo was the fourteenth member of the company and he had a contract in his hand. The funeral arrangements worried him a bit, because sex was rarely worth dying for, rarely he said, not never, but he would leave that for later.

Or he would have if the hat dwarf didn’t start speaking. He had such a musical voice and Bilbo was aware on some level that he was trying to intimidate him with all this nonsense talk about the dragon, but all Bilbo saw were those lips moving, that mustache wiggling around and he just knew it would tickle his balls when the dwarf swallowed around his cock, and it was suddenly all too much. He was so aroused and hot. Perhaps if he’d managed to wank after supper things would have been different, but he’d never had that many good looking males around him, all watching him or smiling at him and poor Bilbo couldn’t handle the pressure. Instead he fainted.

****

Things didn’t improve at all once he came to. He’d been placed in his armchair and the wizard was scolding him for whatever reason. He vaguely wondered who’d carried him. Honestly, any one of them would have been nice, it was just too bad he hadn’t been awake for it. Oh, he hoped it wasn’t the wizard, that just made him feel dirty and not in a good way.

Whatever was he saying? Bilbo wondered and focused on the wizard insistently opening his mouth, “I remember a young hobbit who was always running into the woods in search of elves…”

Well, that explained that. The last time Bilbo looked for any elves he was a wee lad. This wizard must have been ancient if he wasn’t dead yet. Bilbo narrowed his eyes and eyed Gandalf suspiciously. But that thought aside, there haven’t been any elves featuring in Bilbo’s fantasies since he realized they were actually tall, and pale and immortal. He shuddered to think how many lifetimes any one of them had on Bilbo. Nope, these days he was more into dwarves and he could certainly get behind the lot in his kitchen, or in front of them. He wouldn’t mind that either.

But the wizard was right about one thing. The world was out there and if he planned on getting any he would have to go with the dwarves. They were obviously leaving the next day, and Bilbo didn’t know how he would ever be able to settle for simple hobbits after seeing what children of stone had to offer. Just the thought of it sent tingles down to his toes and his poor cock had been crying for hours now.

Oh dear Yavanna, could the wizard talk. He was still going on about whatever it was and Bilbo had things to pack. Perhaps he could rub one off in the bedroom real quick, that would settle him right up. Yes, Bilbo nodded to himself but then thought to ask, “Can you promise I’ll come back?”

“No, and if you do, you will not be the same.” The wizard said.

He should hope not. And Bilbo tried to stay serious, but a grin or two slipped. He couldn’t even imagine what the journey carried with it and if after spending all that time with thirteen dwarves he came back the same, why Bilbo would have a thing or two to write about the race and no hobbit would take them to their bed again. “You’ve got the right hobbit.” He told the wizard but turned around too quickly to catch the surprise on the wizard’s face. After all, Bilbo still had plans for the night, he didn’t have time for anymore of Gandalf’s nonsense.

Bilbo rushed to his room and locked the door. He still had one hand on the door frame when he tore his robe open and grasped his cock. Oh, the relief. He pulled quickly, biting off his moans and locking his knees. This held a promise of being utterly sweet. But then the vibrations spread through the smial and the dwarves started humming. Oh,… Oh… Bilbo whimpered, holding off his orgasm by only his strength of will. Unfortunately, after three words from Thorin’s throat he was coming and it wasn’t just your usual release. Bilbo exploded like a tea pot and just kept going.

Bilbo whined, sprawled on his floor with his cock pulsing without a pause. Oh, the voice. Bilbo whimpered again as he did his best to control himself, it was just singing after all, but no such luck. Bilbo could hardly tell his cock to stop spitting. In fact, by the time the song came to a close, Bilbo’s balls were completely empty, but his cock still kept contracting and sending shivers down Bilbo’s spine. It truly had a mind of its own and apparently what it wanted were the dwarves.

By the time he heard the dwarves bathing, Bilbo somehow managed to pick himself up and clean after himself. He was so sensitive he was giddy with it, and while it was far too quick for his comfort, he was still quite satisfied.

He locked himself in his study, read the contract through then set on writing a few letters. It really wouldn’t do to leave Bag End defenseless against Lobelia. Some would be envious of his company, Bilbo knew, especially the bachelors, but Bilbo couldn’t help it that he was luckier than the most and who knew, perhaps after the adventure he came back home a father. Now wouldn’t that be a nice idea. Hm, yes, he quite thought so.


	4. Chapter 4

Come morning Bilbo rose early, his hand already on his cock and while mornings usually took time, Bilbo knew he had little to spare on that particular one. He spread his legs and lifted his knees before reaching for his jar. He coated the palm of his right hand and just a couple of fingers of his left before getting down to business.

One finger easily slipped in his surprisingly tight hole. He skipped just one session of fingering and already he’d tightened up. Well, no matter, Bilbo pushed the finger further, furiously working on his cock and as it started weeping he promptly pushed the second finger inside.

Bilbo moaned with the pleasure, pausing for just one moment to savor the sensation before he started vigorously pumping his fist and twisting his fingers inside. When he came it was by accident. He thought he heard a responding moan through the walls of his bedroom and instead of a calculated move, he caught his prostate with one of his fingers and that was that.

Overall it wasn’t as good as Bilbo was used to, but he hoped the dwarves would eventually make up for it, so he cleaned himself up, dressed in his thicker clothes because he might have been a gentle hobbit, but he wasn’t an idiot, and pulled out all he thought he would need for the journey.

One of the more important items was his rain coat with a large hood. His mother had ordered that one a long time ago, but it was of a very good quality and Bilbo was sure this was the perfect opportunity to use it. The other advantage it had was that it could be closed all the way in the front with plenty of room to spare and he would be able to take care of his basic urges during times when stopping just wasn’t all that practical.

With the comfort side of things taken care of, Bilbo picked up two of his lubricant jars, hoping they wouldn’t last him all that long but aware that he had no room in his pack to bring more. He debated over some of his toys but with a heavy heart decided the dwarves would just have to be imaginative because he had no place to put them. Braiding and hair care seemed important to them, so he took care to pack two of his best, sturdy combs. He wasn’t yet sure how they would serve him, but the dwarves must have had a reason for keeping their hair and beards the length they were. Various other knickknacks and Bilbo was ready.

He rushed through breakfast, cooking almost as much as he had for supper then ate his fill and rushed outside of his smial, only to promptly go back inside and sign the contract, leaving it on the table with the breakfast. He didn’t want the dwarves leaving without him.

That done, he knocked on Hamfast’s door and moved from one foot to the other, impatient until the door opened.

“Good morning, Hamfast. No time to chat I’m afraid. I’m leaving on an adventure with a company of dwarves and it will be an adventure if you know what I mean,” Bilbo grinned and winked and while Hamfast was surprised at first he soon slapped Bilbo on his shoulder saying, “Good for you my friend. I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time. If not for Bell I would have been tempted to join you.”

“Yes, I realize. It is important we leave before others tag along. I’ve prepared my papers, both for Bag End and a letter for the Thain. I would appreciate it if you could deliver the last one and make sure the others are followed to the last word. I would hate it to come back and find Lobelia in my smial. And she would do it too.” Bilbo frowned.

“Don’t you worry about a thing, Bilbo. You just go and have a good time and I’ll take care of everything. Bella and I would be happy to watch over Bag End, that is if you promise to share some stories once you get back.” Hamfast raised his eyebrows.

“Oh I’ll write a book, won’t I? You know me and my love for saucy tales.” Bilbo said with a smile.

“That I do my friend, that I do. Now go on and show those dwarves what hobbits are made of.” Hamfast said with a small wistful sigh and Bilbo was off again.

He ran to the market and bought all kinds of preserves and travel food. There was too much for him to carry, but he planned on dividing it between the dwarves since he knew they would need the energy for all the sex he had planned in addition to the journey itself. Yes, Bilbo was a really busy hobbit on that particular morning.

****

Meanwhile, back at Bag End…  
Breakfast was done and Dori had chased Ori out of the kitchen while he and Bombur cleaned the dishes. Thorin had been sitting at the table impatient and frowning and Ori had felt quite uncomfortable anyway. So he went on exploring Mister Baggins’s home.

It took him little time to find the library and it was filled with books, something that made his eyes lit up right away. Some of the names in the bindings he recognized and he rather shared the hobbit’s taste, but a lot of them had nothing written on the covers so Ori slid down to the floor with a book in his lap, opening it somewhere in the middle and started reading.

_‘Daisy took hold of her feet as she spread herself open for Tolman. Her cunt was wet and glistening…”_ Ori shut the book closed with such force Fili and Kili ran into the library to investigate.

Unfortunately Ori was not only tomato red, he was also unable to force even one word past his lips.

“Ori, what’s wrong with you?” Kili asked as he dropped down next to Ori.

Ori hid his face in his hands, gently pushing the book away with his foot.

“Are you alright Ori?” Fili joined in their worry and sat on Ori’s other side, “Do you need us to get Dori?”

At that Ori’s head snapped up so fast his neck hurt and he shook his head as hard as he could to emphasize how much of a no that was. The last thing he needed was fussing Dori finding out what he’d been reading.

“Are you sure? Your color is all strange.” Kili poked Ori’s cheek with one of his fingers.

Ori leaned forward to make sure there was no one else in the hallway, before he pulled back the book and opened it on a random page. He thrust it in Fili’s direction with the words, “Don’t read it out loud.”

It took hardly a minute before Fili was just as flushed as Ori and unable to look either of the other two dwarves in the eye.

“What? I want to know too!” Kili whined and without protest Fili gave him the book.

Kili’s reaction was the same when it came to a blush painting his cheeks, but he also had a look of awe in his expression, “I didn’t know they wrote books like this.” He whispered very softly.

“Neither did I,” Ori readily agreed.

“Do you think there are any more?” Kili looked at the shelves considering.

“These without any names in the bindings maybe.” Ori offered and Kili pulled out another book and started reading in the middle before almost shouting, “This one is about two male hobbits.”

Fili slapped his hand over Kili’s mouth, “Do you think that was Mister Bilbo we heard this morning?”

“Well if he has these kinds of books in his library I’m not sure I want to know what happens in his bedroom.” Kili said wisely.

Both Fili and Ori nodded, but then Fili added, “But those were some mighty fine sounds.” At which point Kili was the one to nod.

“Do you think we could sneak one book out of here and take it with us?” Kili asked.

“But when would we read it?” Fili asked.

“We can take guard duty together, and you can join us Ori.” Kili generously offered.

Poor Ori wasn’t quite sure if he should say yes or just refuse. On one hand he’d never before stolen a book and Dori would be really cross with him if caught, but on the other, he’d never before read any books like that before and if Dori did find out he could always blame it on Fili and Kili since they were the ones to suggest it anyway. So Ori nodded, his decision made.

“Which one should we take?” Fili asked, looking at the shelves as if they were a challenge to overcome.

“One with only males in it. I don’t want to read about lasses when I don’t even know when I’ll next time see one.” Kili said right away and together they managed to find a book which had something perverse in every section they randomly opened.

“Ori you should keep this. It won’t be strange if you have books in your pack. If Thorin or Dwalin find one in ours they’ll want to know what it is right away and I don’t want them reading that out loud in front of the whole company.” Fili said and Ori flushed as he nodded.

With that they sneaked out, hid the book and pretended nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Some did it better than others, like Ori and Fili, while Kili almost bounced with nerves and Thorin wondered how long his nephew would need to blurt out whatever the uncomfortable secret was.


	5. Chapter 5

As Bilbo rushed home, five other hobbits helping him carry food, he was already itching for his second go of the day but realized that the best he would probably get was a rushed rub under his coat somewhere along the path out of Shire. Far from ideal but it would certainly be better than the day before.

The dwarves were already gathering in front of Bag End and it had been a good thing that he’d left the contract on the table. They might have just left without him.

“What is all this?” Thorin said, his eyebrows high and in the lack of a better word, royal expression on his face.

“Well food for the journey, of course. Though I doubt it will last us very far what with second breakfast and supper and dinner,” Bilbo murmured the last part before continuing, “but I didn’t think we could carry anymore so this is it,” He nodded with a smile and rushed past the other dwarves and into his smial.

He picked up his packs, checked every room just to make sure everything was in order, then grabbed his coat and locked the door behind him, scowling at the mark on his door and giving the wizard a dirty look which Gandalf completely missed, but it still made Bilbo feel better.

He rushed toward Hamfast and popped the key into his mail box then got back to the dwarves who were all groaning under the added weight. He looked at them, calculating, then said, “Aren’t dwarves supposed to be strong beyond measure and tireless when it comes to any task? If I’d known just a few packs of food would be too much for you, why I wouldn’t have signed the contract.”

He was still frowning as the dwarves started spluttering, but each one of them straightened up and not a grumble more was to be heard. Maybe going on an adventure wasn’t such a good idea. After all he had needs, multiple times a day and if they found carrying a few bags to be too much, however would they preform?

But Bilbo waved away that thought. There were thirteen of them and by all logic there should always be someone around who was ready to satisfy him.

“Well, aren’t we running late?” He asked clapping his hands, and picked up the last two bags, easily handling the weight. He was a hobbit, not an elf. Close to the ground and with hearty meals in his belly, he could both carry a lot and endure for a long while. Yes, the adventure certainly had potential. Thirteen dwarves, hmpf, Bilbo wouldn’t have been happier if he’d struck gold. What a silly expression, the dwarves were rubbing off him already. What a happy thought, and with that Bilbo led the way down the East Road, the dwarves having trouble to keep up, not that Bilbo noticed any of that. He figured as soon as they reached a good elevenses spot it would all be worth his while.

****

But elevenses came and passed, he was forced on a horse. No, wait, that came out wrong. He was made to ride on a pony and lunch went right over the dwarves’ heads too. There was not even a mention of stopping for tea and while Bilbo had managed to do his business, feeling extremely uncomfortable on his pony, he was too tired to try it more than once.

By the time they stopped for dinner, he was exhausted, hungry, horny and his butt felt rubbed raw, and not in a good way. The dwarves were loud, rude, inconsiderate and half of them were looking at him strangely, but Bilbo didn’t say a word the whole day, waiting if any one of them would approach him for a bit of fun. None of them did.

So it was a miserable hobbit who went to sleep that night, rubbing himself against his sleeping sack until he felt at least that bit of relief and could finally rest.

The next day started out the same, with just one breakfast mind you, and by the time lunch came round Bilbo was absolutely seething. The journey to wherever would take months and he wasn’t sure he would be able to handle such a long abstinence. Why, he doubted he would last a month without withering away.

Bilbo paled.

“Are you alright, Mister Bilbo?” The hat dwarf asked.

But Bilbo was beyond words, feeling sick to his belly at the very thought of not having anyone touch him for months on end, of only touching himself two measly times a day, he was going to be sick.

“Do you need to rest, Mister Baggins?” Fili steered his horse until he was on Bilbo’s other side.

“I need many things, my pretty dwarf, but it’s starting to appear that I’ve made a grave mistake.” Bilbo whispered, completely missing the adorable blush on Fili’s face.

“What kind of a mistake is that, Mister Bilbo?” The hat dwarf touched Bilbo’s shoulder in a gentle way and perhaps Bilbo was wrong. Perhaps they were just waiting for the right opportunity. Yes, he would wait until tonight before considering drastic measures, like heading back home.

“Oh, perhaps I am wrong. Nothing to worry about, my hat dwarf,” Bilbo blushed at his mistake, “I beg your pardon. I didn’t quite catch your name.”  
But the dwarf just laughed, making all of the others turn to look in their direction. “I am Bofur, Mister Bilbo, at your service.”

Yes, quite right. Bilbo was just mistaken and there would finally be some service tonight. So Bilbo smiled sunnily at him and for the first time since leaving home relaxed enough to exchange pleasantries with Bofur which took his mind off his now aching cock and held him in high spirits until they settled for dinner.

Bilbo knew there would be no supper to be had so he ate his dinner quickly and waited for the fun to begin. However, no matter how long Bilbo waited, the dwarves held to their routines, heading into the forest for their absolutions then one by one settling into their sleeping bags.

Something howled in the distance and Bilbo startled turning quickly to ask, “What was that?”

Fili and Kili started scaring him with tales about the orcs and Bilbo had had quite enough. Before Thorin, who Bilbo could see sitting on the side, could speak, Bilbo started shouting, “I’ve had quite enough you, you… dwarves! Since the moment you came into my home you’ve been offering services, tempting me with you pretty words, good looks and promises of exceptional dwarven expertise. Well, I’ve yet to see any of your skill in action, your cold manner had become rather dull a long time ago and not one of you has pleased me since I’ve left home. Now I’ve kept quiet through many a missed meal and did the best I could to curb my urges while on the road, but I’ve now quite had it. If something doesn’t change in the next couple of days I’ll be turning my pony around and head straight back to Shire, and see if I write one good word about dwarves.” With that Bilbo turned and headed for the nearby forest.

****

“Hobbit, where are you going?” Thorin yelled after him, not sure what to make of the creature.

“To wank!” Came the answer which left all of them blushing and rather uncomfortable.

“Did he say wank?” Oin cleaned his trumpet then asked the others.

“Aye, brother, I do believe he did.” Gloin answered feeling very awkward.

“What was that about, Gandalf?” Thorin asked the wizard who was blushing just as much as the dwarves.

“Which part? I’m not quite sure what he meant but as I understand it, he’s deeply offended for some reason.” Gandalf answered.

“Yes, I’ve gathered that. “ Thorin said dryly.

“He said we were good lookin’.” Kili piped in.

“And had exceptional expertise.” Fili added.

“Can he just leave?” Asked Ori shyly.

“Well, if he were a dwarf that would disgrace both his name and his whole family, but I’m not sure if hobbits care about such things. He might just leave.” Balin offered.

“But what did we do wrong? And we’ve missed just as many meals as he did.” Bombur complained.

“Ah, I can help with that. I know for a fact that hobbits have seven meals a day.” Gandalf explained looking pleased.

“Seven!” could be heard from a few dwarves.

Gandalf nodded gravely. “Yes. I’ve forgotten what they call all of them, but hobbits find food very important.”

“The lad mentioned services,” Dwalin said, “what did he mean by that?”

“Oh, I just remembered,” Fili jumped in, “when we first knocked on his door and said, at your service, he responded with ‘yes please’. I’ve never heard that before but then I forgot all about it because he asked us to hang our coats and put our weapons aside.”

Then a moan echoed through the forest and all the dwarves snapped their mouths shut, blushing and looking everywhere but at each other.

“My word, the lad is actually wanking!” Nori said somewhat loudly only for Dori to slap him on the back of his head.

“Well, I’ll let you sort this out.” Gandalf said in a rush then disappeared.

“Is it just me, or does that wizard disappear in all the wrong moments?” Balin asked.

A few of the dwarves nodded but a different voice actually answered, “The wizard is gone? Good. I’ve had just about enough of him and his meddling ways. If not for him knocking, and before afternoon tea, mind you, I wouldn’t be in this predicament right now.”

Bilbo sat by the fire oblivious to all the shocked and blushing faces around him.

“Had fun?” Nori could hardly resist asking.

Bilbo looked at him with narrow eyes before shrugging, “I’ve had better. It’s just not the same on my own and I forgot to bring my lubricant so it was alright I suppose.”

That shut even Nori up for a moment.

“I must admit, I’m quite surprised at how open you are about such things.” Balin tried diplomatically.

Bilbo stretched his toes and glanced at him for a moment before asking rather uninterested, “Open about which things?”

Balin colored and Nori piped in, “Wanking,” only to get hit by Dori again.

This time Bilbo really looked at all of them and noticed the overall embarrassed mood. “Well of course I am. It’s natural isn’t it? I don’t know how it is with dwarves but I don’t think we hobbits could survive without regular release or touch for that matter.”

Now a few of the dwarves leaned forward despite themselves, but it was Kili who asked rather directly something nobody else dared, “How often is regular?”

Without shame and actually pleased by the opportunity to vent a bit, Bilbo answered, “Well, before first breakfast is a must and I take my time with that, you know, fingers and all,” Bilbo wiggled his digits at them not really paying much attention as he remembered the last good day he’d had, “After second breakfast it’s normal to go about it a bit quickly because we hobbits usually work at that time and not many can afford a long break. Elevenses tickle is optional and mostly only those with high drives indulge. Then after lunch we take our time and everything can come to play, from fingers to toys and every hobbit knows not to come knocking before afternoon tea, not like that meddling wizard,” Bilbo frowned and a lot of the dwarves who weren’t already blushing promptly did so as they realized exactly what the wizard had interrupted that day.

“Then there are quick tugs after dinner and after supper, depending on how much time one has and before bed we indulge in another longish play. But it’s a bit different for those in a committed relationship or those with spouses, they have more options and usually indulge more often.” Bilbo finished with a smile on his face.

The silence around camp was deafening. Kili was counting on his fingers, starting over twice while the older dwarves just stared slack-yawed.

“And you could die without it?” Ori squeaked.

“I’m not sure. I don’t think anyone has ever tried to withhold for long enough to test that theory.” Bilbo frowned.

“May I ask what we did to offend you so, before I mean?” Balin grasped his hand with the other in front of himself and did his best to ignore the previous conversation ever happened.

“Well you offered your services of course, but no one has serviced me even once so far.” Bilbo told them looking quite confused.  
At that point Thorin fainted and only Dwalin catching him stopped him from hitting his head. The rest rose to their feet and started shouting things which were often unfinished thoughts or just plain old shouts. Then Fili out-voiced them all by yelling, “Wait, wait, I have a question.”

The rest looked somewhat angry and embarrassed but they all sat down grumbling while Fili asked, “You mentioned we were good looking and that you expected expertise,” he couldn’t help it but blush a little at that, but still, he bravely continued, “Did you mean you would consider,…well…” Fili gulped, “well that you would consider bedding all of us? You find us all attractive?” He was twisting his fingers in his lap by that point and many of the others admired him for the sheer courage it took to voice that question.

Bilbo looked at them as if they were all stupid, “Of course I find you attractive, what kind of a question is that? I wouldn’t have come with you if I hadn’t. Why I would have took the two of you to my bed right from the door as you entered my smial, but propriety dictated that I had to let you eat first and then later on I never got another opportunity.”

Both Fili and Kili reddened at that, huddling and whispering to each other.

“But why?” Ori cried out standing before Dori pulled him down.

“What do you mean why? You’re all bleeding gorgeous, what’s not to like?” Most of the dwarves puffed up their chest, but Bilbo took no notice, “When Dwalin knocked I was already in bed pumping away and I ended up opening the door only in my robe.”

Dwalin and just about everyone else sputtered at that but Bilbo continued, “Just look at him!” Bilbo raised his voice and everyone looked at Dwalin who reached for his axe unused to such attention, “I wanted to suck on those tattoos and I bet he could have taken me right against the door. All that muscle… Just looking at him had me going.”

No one in the company had ever seen Dwalin turn that color before and listening to Bilbo’s words had them looking at the warrior in a different light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter just didn't want to end so I've stopped here, sorry.


	6. Chapter 6

Thorin groaned as he stirred, then remembered everything and hastily sat up. The gazes of the company turned to him and he experienced a completely new level of embarrassment. It was a strange, uncomfortable feeling and then he caught sight of the hobbit.

“Feeling a bit faint?” The hobbit asked him brightly and Thorin flushed all over again. He remembered the hobbit blatantly asking if he would teach him how to handle a sword and would they focus on proper stabbing. The words got a completely different meaning under the new circumstances and suddenly Thorin had trouble facing the hobbit.

Kili however couldn’t quite wrap his head around the idea, so without thinking anything of it he blurted into the silence, “So every time we said ‘at your service’ you thought we were offering our skill beneath the sheets,” Kili’s eyes widened and he almost yelled, “So we should have been handling your…your…” Kili made a rude jerky motion with his hand, “during all this time, and at least six times a day at that!”

Dwalin slapped the back of his head but the question was already out there despite the rest of the dwarves spluttering and Thorin whishing the dragon had just eaten him once upon a time and ended his misery.

“Well, yes. Isn’t it the same with dwarves? I don’t expect you to have the same stamina, of course, but there are thirteen of you, I counted on you switching when necessary.” Bilbo felt a bit naïve he had to admit. It seemed he’d miscalculated something, he just hoped it wasn’t a too big of blunder.

Balin chose to answer him but he kept his political face and Bilbo had thought they were past that already, “Each dwarf has a One, and when they finally meet there is never anyone else for them, even if their One dies.”

“What? Never? How about before you’re essentially married?” Bilbo squeezed his fingers somewhat desperately. This was not good, not good at all.

“Some experiment here or there in their youth, but nothing serious.” Bofur offered joyfully.

“Oh, oh…” Bilbo paled, then tapped his palm against his cheek keeping it there, “oh I miscalculated badly. An adventure meant just traveling the countryside and chatting up a dragon, not a real adventure.” He mumbled almost to himself but the dwarves heard and they took offense.

However Bilbo hardly cared. He couldn’t just go off for months without touch or completion, oh no, he just couldn’t. “I have to pack. Do excuse me.” Bilbo said then stood up and got dizzy, barely catching himself on the nearby rock.

“Pack?” Fili yelled and rose to his feet.

“Yes, yes. Oh my, why is it so hot here.” Bilbo unbuttoned the top of his shirt.

“But you can’t just leave,” Kili shouted wide-eyed.

“Oh but I must. I would never reach the mountain, you see, I fear I would fade long before we could even see it in the distance. No. I must go back to the Shire. Oh and I really must meet up with a few of the bachelors before it gets too serious. It had been difficult as it was.” Bilbo was talking mostly to himself, but the dwarves were listening attentively.

To the surprise of everyone, and most of Bilbo, it was Thorin who posed a question loud enough to catch the hobbits attention, “What must we do to keep you with us, burglar?”

Bilbo startled enough he almost tripped, then really looked at Thorin. “Why you would have to take me for breakfast, lunch and dinner at least. I believe I could handle the other occasions on my own.”

“And that would mean we are wed?” Thorin inclined his head, still pale but struggling through it.

Bilbo puffed up his chest, “Well of course not. I would never just wed with one hobbit or a dwarf, besides it doesn’t work like that. There’s a courting period and very serious business about the rules, of course. No, no. It is just a tumble, to keep the urges at bay you see, and have our bodies stay healthy.”

Thorin eyed him speculatively while the rest of them switched their gaze from one to the other as the conversation unfolded, “So you lay together without expecting any commitment or children from your unions and no one is offended by it?”

“Of course not!” Bilbo scowled, “We shag because we need it and it’s pleasurable. If any children come we consider ourselves blessed but most take care to avoid that since it is easy enough, at least until they settle with a partner and wish for a family. But some never wed and some settle with more than one hobbit. It is all natural and we enjoy our bodies just as much as we enjoy food.”

The rest of the dwarves were blushing at the blunt words, but Thorin considered himself better than that. His cheeks were still slightly pinked, but he convinced himself he wasn’t embarrassed at all and it was best to solve their predicament as soon as possible and to the betterment of the company. “I apologize if this has already been discussed, but you would choose any of us to share your bedroll, truly?”

“I really don’t see why that is such a difficult thing to imagine. I find you all rather attractive and if not for propriety I would have felt you all up by now. But it is just not done. I would never simply assume to touch where my touch is unwelcome. That’s why I’ve been waiting for any sign on your side, an offer or a bit of flirting, something to tell me that I am wanted. But since this is all such a shock to you, do you find me attractive at all? I have misjudged this situation so badly I’m afraid it has severely cut through my confidence.” Bilbo confessed.

“Mahal, he’s blunt.” Someone in the company moaned all of them still ducking their head to hide. But no one actually answered the question and Bilbo’s expression fell. This time he lowered his head and huddled into himself before turning around to leave once more.

“I think you’re cute.” Kili yelled at his back before blushing horribly and hiding his face behind his hands. It was so strange to say something so openly and in front of the whole company, but he just couldn’t handle Bilbo walking away.

Bilbo stopped in his tracks and Thorin recovered his confidence, “Is there anyone among the company who doesn’t find the hobbit to his taste?” he said loudly enough for everyone to hear.

No objection came and Bilbo turned around tentatively, unsure.

Thorin felt for their burglar and tried to explain the situation, “Affection and appeal is not something discussed openly among the dwarves. We also do not share comfort where eyes can see, something that I am sure shows us as truly made of stone. But we are raised to keep such things private and none of them are brave enough to break custom, none besides Kili that is.” Thorin quirked his lips so slightly most would have missed it.

“If you do not even speak of it, how can you preform?” Bilbo asked bewildered.

Some of the others huffed crossing their arms in front of their chests. Now he was offending their skill and few were alright with that.

“That is something for each individual to answer, I am sure.” Thorin said somewhat diplomatically, doing his best to not redden again. “What I would like to do instead is discuss this now in the open since it means either keeping or losing our burglar.” He then turned toward the other dwarves and took a deep pained breath, “Who among you would be against tending to the needs of Mister Baggins? I apologize for speaking so bluntly but I would rather we have this conversation once and then we can all pretend to not see certain things while keeping everyone happy.”

Through somewhat reluctantly, Bombur stepped forward and said, “I’m afraid I must decline. You see I have my dam back at Ered Luin and she would not be pleased.” Bombur bowed slightly and stepped back and if Bilbo’s displeasure at his refusal flattered him, his dam didn’t necessarily need to know.

“My refusal and that of my brother come from the same reason. I miss my family terribly and would never offend my dam in such a way. I am quite certain my brother feels the same.” Gloin said then stepped back as well while Oin simply nodded once Gloin twisted his fingers in a few signs of Iglishmêk.

“My interest has already fell on someone else in the company, and if he doesn’t mind, I would try my luck there during this journey.” Balin turned pointedly toward Dori and bowed slightly, making Dori all flustered and shy but he accepted the interest and the number of interested dwarves was cut down to eight.

While Bilbo looked terribly disappointed, Thorin privately thought the number was far higher than he’d expected. He was certain Dwalin would refuse if for nothing else than because the hobbit was simply too soft. Ori had never struck Thorin as particularly adventurous but he did join their quest so what did Thorin know anyway. Nori was no surprise, if it was new, exciting or untested he was interested for certain, at least so he could say he had been there and done that. Bifur was a surprise for certain. While he understood reasonable snatches of Westron his thoughts ran away from him on occasion, but apparently the hobbit was interesting enough that he didn’t care about the possible language barrier. Perhaps there would be little talking done anyway. Thorin shook his head to dispel the thought as soon as it occurred to him, he truly wasn’t interested in Bifur’s bed habits. 

“Does anyone have a suggestion on how we should do this?” Thorin eventually asked, at a bit of loss himself.

“We could draw sticks!” Kili offered almost immediately, his big grin infectious.

“How can that work? We would have to draw three sticks for each day.” Nori said rubbing at his beard.

“Would you be willing to pick each day Bilbo?” Fili asked tentatively and the whole company turned to look at the hobbit who was now a completely different picture from the previously dejected little creature.

“Oh I could never do that. Why I would want more than one of you each time and I’m not sure how we could manage such a feat while on the journey.” Bilbo said flushing.

The dwarves were embarrassed again but their grins easily showed how pleased they were as well.

“Perhaps we should divide in two groups and simply switch days. I am sure Mister Bilbo will need to instruct us in some things and it is best if he has options in case some of us do not perform to his satisfaction.” Thorin said cautiously and why the others frowned they were also nodding. None of them were willing to admit that they might not have quite the experience as the hobbit but were still grateful for Thorin’s solution. They only hoped Bilbo would not share their mishaps or lack of experience with the others.

“Very well. You will have four to pick from each day, Mister Bagging, but be warned that it is you who will have to approach us. You now know who is willing and you will not be turned away, but the manner in which to go about such things is somewhat beyond us.” Thorin admitted with not a little shame. Among dwarves approaches were handled discreetly and with little words. What followed was even less advertised and Thorin was certain that the younger ones among them lacked such experiences. No. Whatever happened would be done with the hobbit’s initiative and Thorin sincerely hoped his company was ready for such a whirlwind.


	7. Chapter 7

Bilbo watched the dwarves in the following hours, measuring the looks they gave him, assessing the interest as well as courage of each one. The results were promising if not all Bilbo had expected them to be. He imagined how the next day would play out and how exactly was he supposed to approach his dwarves when he realized it would be easier by far to cross those barriers tonight, with spread out bedrolls and plenty of dwarves aching for sleep.

The most intriguing of the lot seemed to be Nori who never once stopped looking. He held onto his pipe, those lips popping softly enough that Bilbo wondered what other use he could find for them. He was a fine dwarf with lovely hair and nimble fingers. But while the dwarf might have been skilled in his craft Bilbo had had Lobelia over enough times for tea, not to watch for sticky fingers. He wondered if Nori smelled of smoke and days of travel, how much that scent differed from that of another hobbit who mostly carried the scents of nature and honey. He had the same strength as the others, the same stocky muscles and long beard but Bilbo yearned to muss it all up, to unbraid his beard and let it run wild over his naked skin and with those thoughts in his head, Bilbo’s intentions crystalized and he had a set course to follow.

Once the two of Nori’s brothers started setting their bedrolls Bilbo gathered his courage and sat next to Nori, leaning his shoulder against the dwarf’s significant bulk. The rest of the company stilled and quieted, but Nori, while blushing, transferred his pipe in his other hand and wrapped his left arm around Bilbo’s shoulders, pulling him closer.

“Ya fancy a bit of this dwarf, eh?” Nori whispered against Bilbo’s hair, his breath spicy with the leaf he’d been smoking and his voice seductive enough Bilbo shivered.

“More than fancy, even,” Bilbo said breathlessly as the rest of the dwarves went on with their business.

“Is that so?” Nori leaned his thigh against Bilbo’s side, the warmth already seeping through Bilbo’s thin trousers.

“Aye,” Bilbo almost whimpered but pushed on bravely, “been wanting you to pin me down and feel me all over since the moment I saw you nicking my spoons.”

Nori started for a moment then laughed happily, “Oh, you’re something else, Mister Baggins, something else indeed.”

“Would you care to share your bedroll with me tonight?” Bilbo couldn’t help it but ask after that, a bright smile on his face.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Nori whispered at Bilbo’s ear then huffed a bit before licking Bilbo’s earlobe.

Bilbo moaned at the touch, his ear particularly sensitive and if his cock spurted a little, he was glad the others were suddenly too busy rushing through their rituals pointedly ignoring the dwarf and the hobbit.

“Sensitive, eh?” Nori said smugly, tightening his hand on Bilbo’s shoulder.

“I have been known to climax just from another hobbit playing with my ears.” Bilbo said breathlessly.

“Oh we will have such fun together,” Nori said with a grin, “Come, we will move a ways from the others.”

Bilbo almost tripped as he rushed to his bedroll, quickly grabbing everything he might need. He wasn’t oblivious to the stares and avoidance of the others, but he hadn’t been touched for such a long time now and Bilbo was itching for it.

Nori had moved his bedroll close enough for the camp to still be visible but far enough so that not every moan should carry. He’d taken off his boots, weapons and bracers and sat down on the blanket.

“I hope that blasted wizard doesn’t choose this moment to come and interrupt.” Bilbo muttered as he dumped all of his things next to Nori’s and hastily spread out his bedroll.

“You really don’t like Gandalf,” Nori commented absentmindedly as he watched the hobbit unbutton his vest and shirt.

“He’s a manipulative old coot and he’s going to get us all killed by hiding information. Of course I don’t trust him.” Bilbo paused then looked at Nori, “I never knew dwarves weren’t as tactile and open as we hobbits are. I could have waited for you to make your intentions known for days yet and by the time I realized nothing would come of it, it would have been too late for me to head back home. He could have killed me by not asking questions and hiding information.”

Even Nori was surprised by that, admitting to himself that none of it had occurred to him. But the hobbit was right and Nori felt the need to comfort him. So he spread his hands slightly and said, “Come, let me give you a hug, Bilbo.”

Bilbo all but jumped him, tucking his hands beneath Nori’s beard and burying his nose in the hair. “Thank you.”

“You are very welcome my Bilbo. Now, do you wish for anything specific or?” Nori trailed off, his hands still wrapped around Bilbo’s back.

Bilbo moved away slightly, looking into Nori’s beautiful, freckled face, “Just touch if you don’t mind terribly. I won’t object if you wish to pleasure me or want me to pleasure you, but at the moment I would like it if you were to touch me.”

“Undress me, my lovely hobbit.” Nori whispered, the light from the far away fire shining enough to show his enraptured expression.

Bilbo gladly obeyed. He rubbed over the over tunic trailing lightly to the belt. He struggled with the large buckle, not quite sure how to unfasten it, until he slipped his fingers underneath and found the metal hook holding it all together. He let the belt fall to the sides as he spread open the short sleeved garment then pushed at the tunic underneath until it wouldn’t go further.

Frustrated Bilbo scowled at Nori who just chuckled despite the obvious shy look Bilbo could see on his face. He couldn’t believe he’d miscalculated so badly. The dwarves were withdrawn, almost innocent if their expressions were anything to go by, and Bilbo took hold of Nori’s wide palm and tugged until Nori slowly sat up and settled his hands on Bilbo’s hips ever so gently.

“You have to help me get you out of all these layers,” Bilbo whispered as he pushed the short sleeved tunic off Nori’s shoulders.

Almost reluctantly, Nori slipped out of the garment and pulled his long sleeved tunic off his head.

“How many layers do you have?” Bilbo whined as he saw another long sleeved shirt, this one shorter but obviously still in the way.

Nori ducked his head until his beard tickled at Bilbo’s neck.

“Hey, hey, no need to be shy. I’m just impatient to see you. I’ve been dreaming of your lovely freckled skin and I can’t wait to touch it.” Bilbo whispered pressing a gentle kiss against the piece of exposed skin between Nori’s collarbone and the top of his shoulder.

Slightly more brave, Nori pulled off the second shirt, leaving him in only a sleeveless undershirt.

Bilbo moaned and slid his hands over Nori’s exposed, hairy arms, elbows until he reached the shoulders. “The hair is so soft, I can’t imagine what it would be like to sleep next to you naked, to rub against all this lovely fur.”

Nori shivered under him, still hiding his face until Bilbo pushed him gently down and took off both his shirt and trousers, leaving him in only his knee length leggings. He then pulled a blanked over them and lay down on Nori, loving the heat between them.

“Mahal, you have not a hair on you.” Nori whispered, his rough fingers tracing every bit of Bilbo’s revealed skin.

“Lovely isn’t it? That’s the same feeling I get when I touch your gorgeous body.” Bilbo said then tucked his hands under Nori’s shirt and pushed his fingers through all the thick hair on Nori’s chest.

“Do the freckles spread everywhere?” Bilbo said in a mischievous tone, his fingers suddenly focusing on the peaks of Nori’s nipples where he gently rubbed.

Nori’s eyes slipped closed and with his head slightly thrown back, Nori wantonly moaned.

“That’s it, my lovely, just enjoy yourself.” Bilbo breathed against Nori’s skin and dipped his head low until he could press wet little kisses over Nori’s newly exposed throat.

“Bilbo,” Nori rasped, his fingers tightening on Bilbo’s waist.

“I’m here, my gentle dwarf. Would you mind if I rubbed against you? You are just so lovely and with your hands on me I could climax in moments.” Bilbo asked, the pressure of holding his hips still slowly building.

Almost jerkily, Nori nodded, his gasps getting louder and with a small suck against his throat, Bilbo moved his hips in a long continuous roll. He could feel the growing bulge under his balls and wished he could take the length in his mouth, suck a little, but he felt Nori was far from ready for such a thing.

So Bilbo rubbed against his nipples, tightened his hips slightly with each roll and nipped at the tender skin, that is until Nori looked at him and Bilbo wasn’t hobbit enough to resist.

Without a thought to ask or pause, Bilbo lunged at Nori’s lips, his whiskers tickling his nose and his beard rubbing against his face, but Bilbo didn’t care. He tasted the weed and the earthy taste of dwarf and couldn’t get enough.

Nori moaned in his mouth, his tongue flat and tentative, but Bilbo was more than alright with that. He played with the dwarf, sucked on him and every once in a while grazed his plump lips with his teeth before ducking back into the overwhelming kiss.

Nori was wrapped around him by then, Bilbo’s hips dancing frantically in the dwarf’s lap, and Nori instinctively pushed upward with his aching groin until they met in an aroused push of want, over and over again.

It so happened that Nori’s hand accidentally slipped down Bilbo’s waist after a particularly rough push where Bilbo leaked desperately in his leggings, and as he felt those wide and short fingers on his butt, Bilbo was unable to contain his excitement. Instead he shook through his release, his lips tender and his kisses gentler.

“Mahal,” Nori gasped once they parted for a mere moment and after another wet kiss, Bilbo slid down the dwarf’s chest, touching and squeezing lightly, hating the undershirt between them but too far gone to complain. He looked at Nori as he reached his still hidden cock and saw the fear there, the fright of the unknown, so instead of doing what he really wanted, Bilbo mumbled, “Trust me my silly dwarf, I will bring you pleasure but only within the limits you set.”

Nori nodded, his eyes still wide, and Bilbo ducked under the thin shirt until he could rub his face against Nori’s hard belly. He squeezed the dwarf’s cock over the trousers, rhythmically and changing his grip, Bilbo worked him tirelessly, loving the long whines and soft whimpers he’d caused as he licked through the thick fur under Nori’s belly button. He nipped and moaned himself at the scent of deep earth, days sweat and almost biting coldness as if the cold could smell.

But only as he pushed his tongue into the bellybutton, sucking on the edge of it in his excitement, did Nori yelp and buck, his fingers tightening on Bilbo’s shoulders as he convulsed through his climax.

Bilbo smiled, ever so pleased and climbed back up Nori’s body until he could tuck himself against the almost burning dwarf. “I enjoyed that very much, thank you Nori.”

“Oh… Oh… Bilbo… I…. Bilbo….” Nori mumbled still gasping.

“That is perfectly alright, Nori. You just rest. I’m gonna hop down to the stream and bring us a bit of water to clean up.” Bilbo patted him on his chest before pulling another blanket around himself as he sneaked down to the stream and wetted his somewhat dirty shirt. It was good enough and he was planning on washing it in the morn. He cleaned himself up then headed back to Nori.  
He ignored Thorin who seemed to always be on watch and crawled beside Nori, “Do you trust me to clean you or would you rather do it yourself?”

“I trust you well enough, but I can do it on my own. We should probably dress anyway, in case something happens.” Nori said softly, his blush still there but Bilbo knew it was only normal considering the circumstances so he didn’t take it to heart.

Just as he was done and both of them had their long sleeved shirts on the bushes behind them rustled. Nori reached for his sword when Gandalf spoke, “I see the conversation has been most productive considering you are already sharing warmth in this cool night.”

Nori all but hid under the covers but Bilbo got to his feet in just his leggings, uncaring of how inappropriate it was, having had more than enough of the trice damned wizard, “Now listen here you nosy busy body, I’ve had it with your secrets and plotting and uncaring comments. You will apologize for disturbing us this instant or the rest of this blasted quest will be anything but pleasant for you.”

Taken aback, Gandalf quickly lost his smirk and took a better look at Bilbo’s state of undress and Nori who only had his hair sticking out of the covers then promptly murmured a half-assed apology before legging it out of Bilbo’s sight.

“I fear you are right about the wizard.” Nori murmured under the blanket and Bilbo rushed down to his side, lifted the blanket so it covered him as well and tucked his head against Nor’s neck, “Don’t you worry about him. For all his years he’s rather clueless. I’m thinking too much meddling had scrambled his mind and he sometimes doesn’t see as clearly as he thinks he does. I’m sorry he interrupted us. How about we finish getting dressed and then we could perhaps share the bedroll if you don’t terribly mind?”

“Aye, I can handle that.” Nori said with a smile then pressed a quick kiss against Bilbo’s lips.


	8. Chapter 8

Bilbo woke with a raising chest beneath his cheek, mouth-full of beard and a soft snore tickling his hair. The events of the previous night played out in his head and he snuggled closer to Nori, loving both the warmth as well as the closeness to another living being. He’d missed it terribly and despite his cock already begging for attention, Bilbo wanted to enjoy the moment for a while longer.

“Breakfast.” The round one, Bombur, if Bilbo wasn’t mistaken yelled and whatever time was there to be had in the mornings was bound to be cut short.

Burying his face deeper in Nori’s beard, Bilbo reached in his trousers and palmed his cock. He moved his hips against Nori’s side as quickly as he could, trying to finish before someone came looking for them all the while bemoaning the fact that it was just not a hobbit’s way to handle those things quickly. Especially in the mornings.

Nori’s arm suddenly tightened around him and Bilbo almost startled by the absence of a snore before Nori whispered, “At work without me?”

Bilbo moaned as quietly as he could, “Breakfast…they’ll come looking.” Barely finding the right words.

“Right. Need a hand?” Nori asked.

“Only if you are willing.” Bilbo moved with more of a purpose, Nori’s presence making everything so much easier.

Nori turned sideways, tugging Bilbo against his chest and pushing a knee in between his thigs. He tucked his head against Bilbo’s naked neck and started kissing, rubbing his beard over the exposed skin until he reached Bilbo’s open mouth and plunged right in. He swallowed Bilbo’s groan and braved a hand all the way down to Bilbo’s butt before tugging him against his hips, once, twice.

Bilbo almost roared, a sound only Nori was able to sense, and he kissed Bilbo with more vigor, wanting him to leave his arms pleased.

Minutes passed and they were called for breakfast once more, but Bilbo just sprawled on his back, staring at the sky before he said, “That was just lovely.”

Nori’s face was almost shiny with his pleased blush and he was quite frankly looking forward to his next turn.

“Right,” Bilbo eventually said and reached for the cloth to wipe himself again, “We should pack and join the others. I doubt this day will go any easier than those past.”

Nori chuckled and obeyed, so soon they found themselves around the fire, munching at the filling breakfast and ignoring all the covert looks. Bilbo was rather satisfied while Nori couldn’t find it in himself to be ashamed, simply because he would have done the exact same thing if given another chance.

Hours passed on the pony and Bilbo saw the eight willing to bed him drawing out straws but decided not to meddle until he was informed of the results, besides, he saw they wanted privacy as they got Nori away from his side and all he could do really was ride forward and ignore them.

Of course that’s when the rain started. The quest was finally looking up and honestly he was more than likely to get some juicy cock in the near future, so naturally whoever was in charge of such things had to make it more difficult. Within the hour he was soaked and cold and while his own cock did its best to rise, Bilbo doubted it would happen. The rain slid down his shirt and dripped in his sleeves each time he lifted his arms. His toes were shriveled and Thorin made no mention of stopping whatsoever.

Even the polite dwarf eventually had enough and as he mouthed off to the wizard, Bilbo couldn’t help it but ask about the others. He was curious, besides, the other wizards were bound to be better than Gandalf, after all, it wouldn’t have bene hard to surpass him. So when Gandalf mentioned Radagast the Brown, Bilbo couldn’t help but ask, “So is he a great wizard or is he more like, well you?”

Gandalf turned looking annoyed, but Bilbo was miserable, wanting and rather fed up with him.

But when Gandalf started sprouting about the wizard’s good qualities, Bilbo just sunk down on his pony more and mumbled, “Quite astounding, that. I would have believed him if he’d said a simple yes, but right now I just know he’s making things up as he goes to make himself seem bigger in our eyes.”

“Aye, I’m starting to share your opinion.” Bofur was suddenly next to him, looking at his pipe mournfully.

Bilbo snorted, “I’m surprised it took you this long. Dragon slayer, indeed.” Bofur just chuckled at Bilbo’s words, then leaned forward and added, “We’ve come to an agreement.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“Oh? Are you willing to inform me?” Bilbo swallowed, the rain and the cold hardly counting in the face of a bit of play.

“You’ve got Nori, Fili, Kili and Bifur for today. The rest of us tomorrow. But if last night is anything to go by, whoever has you for the night, he might keep you until morning.” Bofur grinned at him.

“Oh I can manage twice, it’s you dwarves I’m worried about.” Bilbo smirked at him, effectively cutting Bofur’s laugh short.

Then on his other side a hand appeared and in it a marked piece of stick. Bilbo looked up and came face to face with Bifur. Bilbo grinned at him. “You want me now?”

Bifur said something but it was Bofur who translated, “He said he doesn’t mind either the horse or the rain, it’s the rest of us who are sensitive to such things.” Just as he finished, he must have realized there was an insult in there and he scowled at his cousin.

Bilbo laughed delightfully, “If you have a larger cloak, master dwarf, I have no problem joining you on that pony of yours.”

Bifur smiled, something Bilbo rather thought adorable then a cloak hit Bilbo’s head and he turned to look at Dwalin who just grunted as if he hadn’t just helped them out. Bilbo was very happy and excited and absentmindedly told Bofur, “Mind my pony, won’t you, Bofur?” before he clambered up to his feet and jumped to Bifur’s arms.

Bifur easily caught him and Bilbo sat in front of Bifur, facing him. It was somewhat uncomfortable, but the closer he moved the better it felt, and Bilbo quickly pulled the cloak over himself and tucked it in between them to hide their middles from sight.

“Whatever are you doing, Bilbo?” Gandalf cut through Bilbo’s rising enthusiasm.

“Enjoying myself, wizard, now mind your own business.” Bilbo snapped not willing to give an inch anymore, before he turned to Bifur, looking at his lovely beard and expectant gaze.

“Now, I know I can’t quite understand you, but it shouldn’t matter. If you’re not comfortable with something you can easily stop me, and in the meantime, I would like to enjoy your dwarven body if you don’t mind?” Bilbo said directly, his hands already on Bifur’s belt.

Bifur nodded then moved his short sword to the side and reached down to tie it to the saddle.

Unable to undress Bifur, Bilbo had to settle with untucking all his layers and pressing his hands on Bifur’s belly. “Oh, you’re not all fit like I expected. This is more like a hobbit pouch, isn’t it?” Bilbo looked at him wide-eyed.

But Bifur didn’t say anything, he just blushed slightly and looked away.

Bilbo quickly realized how that must have sounded to the dwarf, but instead of apologizing, Bilbo groped the belly, sliding his hands on the sides, through the silver and black hair – and he was quite delighted by the fact that Bifur’s body hair matched his beard – then all but ripped his tunic and he lifted it to his chest so he could press skin against skin.

Bilbo moaned, and rather wantonly at that, which had Bifur snapping his head back to look at the hobbit.

“I just love how even your belly can be tight and powerful. I wish I could rub my cock against it as you pound me. Oh I doubt I would last at all.” Bilbo whispered, pushing his nose into Bifur’s thick beard and wanting to snog him silly, but unable to surpass their height difference.

Bilbo opened one of his eyes and took a peek at Bifur, but finding him smug and interested again Bilbo tackled the belt and bravely reached into the dwarf’s trousers.

The piece of meat he pulled out was just magnificent. It was unlike any cock he’d seen before and it stretched toward that round belly in the best of ways. Now leaking and almost aching for a taste, Bilbo wrapped both his hands around the thick length and watched as the skin slipped over the large head then pulled back, exposing the wet tip.

Bifur grunted above him, his fingers tightening around Bilbo’s shoulder, when Bilbo asked, “Would you mind if I took us both in hand?”

Bifur shook his head in a no, and Bilbo’s smiled wide enough to almost startle the dwarf. He pulled his own, rather smaller cock out then moved around on the pony until he was close enough – his legs over Bifur’s thighs – and reached down to feel the dwarves balls, curiosity getting the better of him. However he didn’t expect to find a metal ring buried in the skin behind them and startled enough that only Bifur’s quick reflexes stopped him from falling off the pony.

“Wha... Oh!” Bilbo tilted his head as he felt around, “Oh that’s rather curious, isn’t it? Oh, I wish I could see it,” Bilbo said wistfully and pushed his finger through the ring and tugged lightly.

Bifur’s reaction was instantaneous. He bent forward with a groan, his cock dribbled over Bilbo’s hand and his grip on Bilbo’s shoulder became almost painful.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t just neglect that part,” Bilbo apologized but he was more thinking out loud than actually explaining himself to Bifur, “I’ll finish you off first, then we’ll think about me.

Bilbo promptly wrapped his hand close to Bifur’s cock head, tightened his grip and moved up and down the length, twisting his hand with each upstroke. But he thought himself quite imaginative when it came to his other hand. Bilbo pushed the tip of his middle finger through the tip of the ring while the rest of his fist slowly squeezed at Bifur’s bollocks.

Now the others couldn’t quite see what Bilbo was doing, but none of them had ever been faced with those particular expressions on Bifur’s face. Some of them, like Bombur, Bofur and Balin, tried to turn away, both embarrassed as well as considering those moments in a dwarf’s life rather private, but as Bifur’s eyes turned, and his teeth showed even under all that beard, it was hard to look away.

Fili and Kili looked with unhidden disbelief, wishing they could peek under the cloak and quite a few others entertained the same thoughts but were far from considering that idea seriously. It was Thorin who herded his nephews away from that one show carrying pony and Dori who tried to cover Ori’s eyes and while both were somewhat successful, when Bifur screamed, oblivious to his surroundings, all of them, even the wizard instinctively looked.

Now Bilbo was both pleased with himself and surprised by the amount of seed a dwarf was able to produce and while he would have loved to rub it all on Bifur’s lovely belly, instead he licked his hand clean and tucked the dwarf back into this trousers.

Bifur was just unable to look away from the small creature in his lap and while he was spent and more than a little surprised by how good that had felt, he could have sworn his cock was rearing for another go as that small tongue slipped past the hobbit’s lips and in small licks cleaned all of his seed away. He’d never seen anyone do that before, and while Bilbo was not a dwarf or a lass or even able to carry a child, Bifur felt ready to court him right then and there.

But Bilbo took hold of his own cock, lips smacking at the taste of seed he’d quite missed, and with his eyes closed, he tugged at his cock, chasing his release.

He yelped as a bigger hand surrounded his and the grip turned tighter, the bit of pain making it all the sweeter and while his cock wasn’t quite rubbing against that amazing belly Bilbo pressed his other hand to the side of it, loving the way it moved with him, as it followed Bifur’s powerful thighs while he moved with the pony’s steps. The circle of hips, the feel of all that hair on Bifur’s body and the grip on his cock and Bilbo dropped his head against Bifur’s chest, sucking in excited little breaths.

He came when Bifur leaned down, his head right next to Bilbo’s and surprisingly sucked at the tip of Bilbo’s ear. Bifur might have tightened his hand, and might have not, Bilbo was too far gone to care. He exploded hard enough to see spots before his eyes and the lightheadedness that followed left him tucked against Bifur’s chest for a while.

As Bilbo blinked awake, he gazed at Bifur with absolute adoration, his cock now limp but Bilbo was confident he could get it back up with just a bit of work, when Bifur presented his hand to Bilbo. He’d caught Bilbo’s seed in it and wondered how Bilbo would react to such a thing, knowing there was a particular outcome he wished for.

Bilbo just grinned wider at him, took his hand in both of his and licked the seed up. Bifur moaned at the sight, wishing he was anywhere else with the hobbit but the quest. Give him a room and he wasn’t likely to ever let the hobbit leave.

Then Thorin broke the moment, “We’ll camp here for the night," and Bilbo quickly tucked himself in, then tugged Bifur’s layers down until he could buckle everything in place.

Finally he swam out of the cloak, noticing the sun and the completely new landscape around them, “Oh, I’m rather looking forward to my next time with you, hours just disappear when we’re having a good time, don’t they?”

Bifur grinned lasciviously at him then helped the hobbit off the pony. Yes, thing were looking up and not just for Bilbo.


	9. Chapter 9

The dwarves were talking among themselves next to the fire after dinner, their voices surprisingly quiet and Bilbo noticed Bofur questioning Bifur but if Bifur’s expression was anything to go by, he wasn’t very forthcoming.

With the Ri brothers, Dori seemed to be ignoring the conversation while he fussed over Ori, while Ori kept pestering Nori who kept his mouth shut but blushed rather delightfully. Bilbo smiled just looking at him as he stretched on his bedroll, his feet nicely warm from the fire.

Surprisingly enough, he didn’t need to approach anyone because after a time Fili and Kili sat on either side of him, their faces transformed into large grins and they kept staring until Bilbo gave them his attention.

“Can I help you lads?” Bilbo asked, his cock already filling up in his trousers. It was just delightful that he had so much variety and the sheer size of those dwarvish cocks was rather promising.

“We were just wondering,” Fili started and Kili continued, “If you would do us the honor of joining us tonight?”

Of course they blushed right after, but even Bilbo knew they were young and dwarves older than them had plenty of shyness to share.

“I would never refuse you, darlings. Do you have anything particular in mind?” Bilbo wondered as he tilted his head and looked at Fili.

For a moment Fili looked genuinely confused then his skin heated up and started stuttering, “Yes, well… That is, we… I meant to say…”

“We don’t really know anything.” Kili leaned down and whispered so quietly Bilbo barely heard him.

“Oh, I don’t mind a bit of inexperience, after all, that just means I get to tech you.” Bilbo smiled brightly and pretended not to notice as Fili’s blush deepened.

“We knew we could count on you Mister Bilbo.” Kili grinned at him and patted him rather harshly on his shoulder.

“Now, now, the first lesson is that you should always be gentle unless your partner requests otherwise. No hitting or biting too hard, just soft touches and kisses and you can’t go wrong.” Bilbo educated in a quiet voice.

“Yes, Mister Bilbo.” Kili nodded quickly.

“And please no Mister anything. I’ll be seeing your cock in a minute so unless you get a tickle out of calling me that I would appreciate it if you would cease to use it.” Bilbo waved his hand at Kili and slowly stood up, rolling up his bedroll so they could move further away.

He looked around then found a large rock they could lay behind. It wouldn’t be all that comfortable but it was out of sight and within hearing distance in case something were to happen. He was horny but not suicidal and he would never forgive himself if anything should happen to the young ones.

He spread his bedroll on the ground and took the one from Fili’s hands to put right next to it. It seemed like enough room and he wasn’t all that interested in spending the night with the duo. He’d seen them kicking during sleep and he could do without an injury so early in their quest thank you very much.

“Well, do you need me to undress you or can you at least handle the weapons on your own? I don’t mind relieving you of your clothes but I’ll sooner cut myself than find all the blades on your person.” Bilbo gave them a look then continued measuring their bodies underneath all that cloth. They were certainly attractive and the fact that they were so heavily armed did certain things to Bilbo’s uncontrollable desire.

They rushed until they got to their underclothes, then suddenly both of them just stopped and seemed too shy to even give Bilbo a proper look. So Bilbo smiled at the adorable sight and took off most of his clothes until he could easily climb under the blankets and have nothing rubbing unpleasantly against his flesh.

He lifted one end of the blanket and invited them, “Come, cuddle with me, the night is too cold to just stand about. There’s so much fun we can have in the horizontal.”

True to the request, Kili joined him on his front while Fili climbed in the back, his body close enough Bilbo could feel the warmth of his skin, but neither of them was brave enough to touch.

Bilbo reached for Kili’s stubble covered cheek and rubbed his thumb just under his eye, “You’re quite gorgeous, the both of you. Wish I could have had you back at Bag End, on a soft bed and with all my toys at hand. It would have been a night to remember.”

While he could not quite see the blush in the shadow of the rock, Bilbo felt Kili’s cheek warm and as the dwarf ducked his head, Bilbo pulled it back up then leaned over to give him a kiss.

It wasn’t more than a peck, but Kili had closed his eyes, his lips had parted and he seemed as lost as Bilbo remembered some of the very young hobbits, still discovering their needs had been.

“You can touch me where ever you want, be it over or under my clothes. If you are unsure of something, I would appreciate you ask me about it and I will certainly explain. There is no shame in not knowing but if you refuse to question and obtain that knowledge, that is a different matter altogether.”

Almost right away, Bilbo felt Fili’s fingers on his waist and he leaned into the touch. It seemed to be enough for Fili because he pulled Bilbo against his chest and slid his hand under Bilbo’s undershirt.

“You’re so soft and hairless,” Fili whispered, nuzzling against Bilbo’s neck. Now Bilbo was ready to just lay back and let the lad explore, but they didn’t know much and he felt it his duty to teach them.

“Aye, and you are all fuzzy and hairy, it’s bloody amazing.” Bilbo gasped after a particularly daring touch where Fili slipped his hand down Bilbo’s leggings and played with the bit of fuzz above Bilbo’s cock. Both of the lads chuckled almost shyly.

“Come Kili, touch me, let me touch you.” Bilbo invited the dwarf who had just been laying there watching wide-eyed.

Kili lunged forward, pushing at Bilbo’s lips and doing his best to kiss him. Bilbo suppressed a chuckle, no need to embarrass the lad when he was doing his best, and slid his hand through Kili’s hair until he cupped the back of his head and took control of the kiss. Bilbo moved forward, pressing his hips against Kili’s belly and he felt the tip of Kili’s hard cock straining to be let out.

Breaking the kiss after a while, Bilbo freed himself from wandering hands and sat up. He pulled off the rest of his clothes, leaving him bare and he settled himself on his back between the brothers. “As I said, you are free to touch and taste, but I would like to see you as well when you feel daring enough to show me.”

Both of them looked stunned, but while he did start with a simple finger, Fili was the first one to test the waters. He trailed his fingertips from Bilbo’s knee, up his thigh and around his leaking cock until he reached the nipple. He circled it carefully with way more concentration than the situation called for and Bilbo decided then and there to approach the brothers from a more educational side of things. He needed someone more assertive in bed in the long run and while very appealing he found the brothers to be too young and insecure for his tastes. However, that hardly meant he was willing to miss a chance to spoil them to his heart’s desire and teach them all the wicked things he could think of about their bodies.

“Some hobbits have very sensitive nipples, mine are average I suppose and I like them sucked the most, with an occasional graze of teeth.” Bilbo began quietly, not willing to share his preferences with the whole camp. After all, some things were better discovered in private.

“You can bite them?” Kili asked in wonder.

“Of course. I’ve known hobbits who liked it to really hurt as it enhanced the pleasure, but while I like some dominance, pain isn’t really my cup of tea.” Bilbo explained then noticed that Fili was looking a bit faint, “Oh my dear lad, it’s nothing to stress over. Some like it a bit rough, and some go crazy when you’re as gentle as possible. That’s why we’re going through this with a lot of talk and experimenting, so you can learn what you prefer.”

Fili’s lips thinned and he nodded seriously.

“Right. Now I’m getting somewhat cold, so how about you tuck yourselves right next to me and we can continue this warmly under the covers.” Bilbo said then motioned them over with his hands.

Kili tucked his head on Bilbo’s shoulder, his lips inches away from the nipple, while Fili pushed his side against Bilbo then leaned his head on his elbow so he could see down the whole length of Bilbo’s body. “What else would bring you pleasure?” He asked.

“Many things. Kissing, on my lips or anywhere on my body. Touching my skin, playing with my cock or sucking it. There are too many things to manage everything in one night.”

“I didn’t know you could suck a cock.” Kili whispered against Bilbo’s chest, then licked the nipple and took it in his mouth.

Bilbo bowed his back, the sensation unexpected but oh so very right. His breathing quickened and he barely managed to say anything, “It’s one of the more pleasurable things, sucking cock. If either of you wish you can try it. Just climb up over my head and lose the drawers.

The brothers exchanged looks, Bilbo’s nipple forgotten then Kili was climbing up Bilbo’s chest and doing his best to fish out his cock. Bilbo slapped his hands away then said, “Fili dear, take the last bedroll and put it under my neck as it is.”

In the meantime he lowered Kili’s drawers and his cock swung free reminding Bilbo of the movement of a sword. It was dark and long with the ridges of the glans barely noticeable under the foreskin and surrounded by seemingly never-ending dark hair.

Bilbo’s first instinct was to reach for Kili’s behind and that was exactly what he did. It was only slightly furry, his globes as tight as unripe fruit and Bilbo squeezed in delight. Kili’s cock bobbed in front of him and with little hesitation Bilbo pulled him forward, resting his head on the bedroll, and swallowed him down.

What surprised him wasn’t Kili’s surprised yelp, but rather his own motions copied down below by Fili. Reluctantly Bilbo pushed Kili’s hips slightly away and leaned to look in between his legs at Fili, “Don’t follow my lead, Fili, I have too much experience and you won’t be able to follow. Go at it slow, licks, kisses and if you decide to suck, take it slowly and only with as much length as you can manage without choking. Whatever you do it will be good for me.”

He waited until Fili nodded, albeit shyly, then swallowed Kili down once again who wasn’t any less loud the second time around. Bilbo took him all the way down, enjoying the way Kili’s cock just slid down his throat but to his dismay, all it took was one proper suck where he flattened his tongue for Kili to literally scream and finish.

Bilbo could hear pulled out swords from the direction of the camp and feet thudding against the ground, when he unceremoniously pushed Kili away and croaked as loud as he could, “Everything is alright! Kili just got a little excited.”

The steps paused and Thorin called, “Fili, Kili? Everything all right?”

It was Fili who answered, kneeling in between Bilbo’s legs, his lips glistening and red, “It is uncle.”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Bilbo jumped him and started kissing him. His mustache braids tickling his face and his hair as soft as underbelly feathers. Bilbo was relentless, using that lovely mouth as he wished he could have done with his cock, but just kissing the lad was plenty and it took long minutes before he was satisfied and able to move away.

Kili was laying on the bedroll, eyes glazed and lips parted. He didn’t even take the time to tuck in his cock, and while some might have called the sight indecent, Bilbo absolutely adored it. It made him want to use Kili again, make him come until his eyes crossed, and then he thought, was there truly anything stopping him from doing just that?

Bilbo’s smirk was almost evil as he called for Fili, “Come lay next to your brother. I have a desire to suck you dry and I wonder how many times it might take.  
Fili was hesitant as he obeyed, but as he felt Bilbo’s lips on that just as long cock only nestled in golden hair, he threw his head back, blindly reached for one of his knives and bit down on the handle.

Bilbo let them rest only for as long as the other needed to come, then he would turn his ministrations to the other until they were both sweaty twitching and utterly spent. Bilbo knew he could have dragged out at least one other orgasm out of them in addition to the accomplished four, if only he could have pushed in a finger in their tight little holes and milked them truly dry. But he felt they were far from ready for such a thing and instead he tucked them into their drawers, covered them with a blanket and returned to camp with the spare bedroll. They would just have to exchange them in the morning.

When he came to the fire again, some of the others were sleeping, but Dwalin, Bifur and Bofur watched him with glinting eyes and knowing smirks, so it really wasn’t Bilbo’s fault when he said, “I’ve sucked the boys dry I’m afraid and I doubt they will be able to move for a while yet. But someone should wake them in a couple of hours and make them come closer to the fire, just to be safe.”

Dwalin choked but Bifur and Bofur just grinned all the more for it. He thought he saw Thorin’s eyes widen where he pretended to be asleep against a tree but he could have just as easily been mistaken, so he shrugged his shoulders, turned to Bofur and asked, “Ready to spend the night with me?”

Bofur blushed like a virgin, but nodded enthusiastically just the same and moved his bedroll slightly away from the others before smiling at Bilbo. And who was Bilbo to go against his word? He rather expected a very good night to follow.


End file.
